Dark sea

When I close my eyes every detail of that day still comes to life, even as I sit here on the porch in the sun.

The way the ferocious wind ripped at my hair, threatening to undo its tight bun, as I approached the cliff. How misty rain weighed down my bodice and thick woollen skirt. Brine creeping into my nostrils, a saltiness stinging my eyes. Pulling the knitted shawl closer around my shoulders I peered down the steep cliffside. Far below small dots moved around the pier, readying the boat for the first leg of the journey. A small cluster of forlorn individuals huddled off to one side. Soon I would be one of them.

I remember streaks of thin grey cloud sailing across the sky, drowning out the weak October sun. Black waves dotted with foam rolling towards the shore. Darkness and light interspersing, neither able to dominate the other.

Chilled air forced itself down my throat, entering my ribcage, toying with the chains that for so long held my heart in place. I had yet to learn that the distance between sorrow and joy can be far greater than the distance across any ocean.

Clasping the gold locket containing a lock of hair from my beloved Peter I was overcome yet again by the path I was setting out on. A sudden urge to cry traveled from within my chest up my throat, trespassing my lips. Fragments of the familiar heaviness became dislodged, as if chiseled out by the icy wind. Tears streamed down my face as deep sobs mixed with the wild squalls.

It was the first time, I saw the sea but when I did, I became someone else. I watched as particles of grief drifted down the cliff into the waves, drowning, disintegrating, to finally rest at the bottom of the sea bed.

Intended as the opening scene of a novel. Inspired by the Curtis Brown prompt “The first time I saw the see I became someone else”.